Group A
France - cheese eating surrender monkeys whose captain revealed his true gooner scum routes by using the 'Hand of Frog'. Let's not get too carried away though, i'm sure 99% of Ireland p1ssed themselves laughing at Maradonas handball in 1986
Mexico - Hosted and oversaw one of the biggest traversities of justice and affronts to the English sense of fair play on a par with the Good Friday agreement
South Africa - The population must be a few fries short of a hppy meal to rever Nelson Mandela as some kind of Demi god. Whilst he dicked around meeting the Spice girl, AIDS ran rampant and the country plummeted into poverty .......oh yeah and Zimbabwe got fucked. I'll be amazed if any football tourist comes back alive
Uruguay - Too many U's in it's name
Group B
Argentina - They are not Las Malvinas, they are the sodding Falkland Islands. Goose Green, The Belgrano, San Carlos, Mount Longdon, Port Stanley - your boys took a beating!!!!
Argentina gave aslyum and protection to countless Nazi War Criminals and now worship a fat, drug addled, greasy, little handballing fucknut- it couldn't get much worse.
The only good thing to come out of your third world country is Gauchos in Broadgate.
Greece - Good for a bit of september sun, but the Elgin marbles are staying where they are.
Nigeria - The Nigerian Football Asociation will shortly be sending out emails to every yahoo account requesting your bank details in order to move money out Prince Osawuyandolouu's personal account. In reward you will receive a UK passport and some fake wedding photos.
South Korea - If they have any success in this cup, Lassie WILL NOT come home
Group C
Algeria - Did not kill enough French in their war for Independence
England - Because without England, their wouldn't be a World, let alone a World Cup
Slovenia - With hindsight, the Berlin Wall was a good thing
USA - Should be the runners up to England. Britain should pull out of the EU and form a formal alliance with the US, we'll call it the UKA
France - cheese eating surrender monkeys whose captain revealed his true gooner scum routes by using the 'Hand of Frog'. Let's not get too carried away though, i'm sure 99% of Ireland p1ssed themselves laughing at Maradonas handball in 1986
Mexico - Hosted and oversaw one of the biggest traversities of justice and affronts to the English sense of fair play on a par with the Good Friday agreement
South Africa - The population must be a few fries short of a hppy meal to rever Nelson Mandela as some kind of Demi god. Whilst he dicked around meeting the Spice girl, AIDS ran rampant and the country plummeted into poverty .......oh yeah and Zimbabwe got fucked. I'll be amazed if any football tourist comes back alive
Uruguay - Too many U's in it's name
Group B
Argentina - They are not Las Malvinas, they are the sodding Falkland Islands. Goose Green, The Belgrano, San Carlos, Mount Longdon, Port Stanley - your boys took a beating!!!!
Argentina gave aslyum and protection to countless Nazi War Criminals and now worship a fat, drug addled, greasy, little handballing fucknut- it couldn't get much worse.
The only good thing to come out of your third world country is Gauchos in Broadgate.
Greece - Good for a bit of september sun, but the Elgin marbles are staying where they are.
Nigeria - The Nigerian Football Asociation will shortly be sending out emails to every yahoo account requesting your bank details in order to move money out Prince Osawuyandolouu's personal account. In reward you will receive a UK passport and some fake wedding photos.
South Korea - If they have any success in this cup, Lassie WILL NOT come home
Group C
Algeria - Did not kill enough French in their war for Independence
England - Because without England, their wouldn't be a World, let alone a World Cup
Slovenia - With hindsight, the Berlin Wall was a good thing
USA - Should be the runners up to England. Britain should pull out of the EU and form a formal alliance with the US, we'll call it the UKA
Group D
Australia - The Aussies need to accept the fact that they are English with dodgy accents. No amount of BBQs and shit Fosters adverts will change that
Germany - Adolf Hitler
Ghana - There will be a coup at half time and the Captain will disappear to be replaced by a substitute. The new captain will then proceed to build a luxury Palace in the Goalmouth and drive up and down the pitch in a gold plated Rolls Royce whilst the manager spends the players wages on AK47s
Serbia - Vicious little flatheads
Group E
Cameroon - Too friendly with the garlic munchers
Denmark - Not until the the modern day government apologies for their Viking raiding parties
Netherlands - If they didn't smoke so much Jamaican Old Holborn, then then the Army may have helped out a bit more in the war
Japan - Scary, like Asian Serbs
Group F
Italy - Killed Jesus
New Zealand - Captain Cook only stopped for a shit
Paraguay - Any friend of Hugo Chavez of Venezula is no friend of mine - Ken Livingstone included
Slovakia - See Slovenia
Group G
Brazil - Because they arfe just too god damn happy. Be miserable like the rest of us!!!
Ivory Coast - Should be banned from all football competitions for producing a whinging, diving scum sucking cheat like Drogba
North Korea - The sooner Nuke them, the better
Portugal - The little ponce called Ronaldo, enough said
Group H
Chile - How can a country turn it's back on it greatest ever leader, Augustus Pinochet?
Honduras - Doesn't even register
Spain -Good for a Costa Del Sol package holiday, but that's about it
Switzerland - Will lose every game so as not offend anyone
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