Why there is only 1 deserving winner of the 2010 World Cup

Group A
France - cheese eating surrender monkeys whose captain revealed his true gooner scum routes by using the 'Hand of Frog'. Let's not get too carried away though, i'm sure 99% of Ireland p1ssed themselves laughing at Maradonas handball in 1986
Mexico - Hosted and oversaw one of the biggest traversities of justice and affronts to the English sense of fair play on a par with the Good Friday agreement
South Africa - The population must be a few fries short of a hppy meal to rever Nelson Mandela as some kind of Demi god. Whilst he dicked around meeting the Spice girl, AIDS ran rampant and the country plummeted into poverty .......oh yeah and Zimbabwe got fucked. I'll be amazed if any football tourist comes back alive
Uruguay - Too many U's in it's name

Group B
Argentina - They are not Las Malvinas, they are the sodding Falkland Islands. Goose Green, The Belgrano, San Carlos, Mount Longdon, Port Stanley - your boys took a beating!!!!
Argentina gave aslyum and protection to countless Nazi War Criminals and now worship a fat, drug addled, greasy, little handballing fucknut- it couldn't get much worse.
The only good thing to come out of your third world country is Gauchos in Broadgate.
Greece - Good for a bit of september sun, but the Elgin marbles are staying where they are.
Nigeria - The Nigerian Football Asociation will shortly be sending out emails to every yahoo account requesting your bank details in order to move money out Prince Osawuyandolouu's personal account. In reward you will receive a UK passport and some fake wedding photos.
South Korea - If they have any success in this cup, Lassie WILL NOT come home

Group C
Algeria - Did not kill enough French in their war for Independence
England - Because without England, their wouldn't be a World, let alone a World Cup
Slovenia - With hindsight, the Berlin Wall was a good thing
USA - Should be the runners up to England. Britain should pull out of the EU and form a formal alliance with the US, we'll call it the UKA

Group D
Australia - The Aussies need to accept the fact that they are English with dodgy accents. No amount of BBQs and shit Fosters adverts will change that
Germany - Adolf Hitler
Ghana - There will be a coup at half time and the Captain will disappear to be replaced by a substitute. The new captain will then proceed to build a luxury Palace in the Goalmouth and drive up and down the pitch in a gold plated Rolls Royce whilst the manager spends the players wages on AK47s
Serbia - Vicious little flatheads

Group E
Cameroon - Too friendly with the garlic munchers
Denmark - Not until the the modern day government apologies for their Viking raiding parties
Netherlands - If they didn't smoke so much Jamaican Old Holborn, then then the Army may have helped out a bit more in the war
Japan - Scary, like Asian Serbs

Group F
Italy - Killed Jesus
New Zealand - Captain Cook only stopped for a shit
Paraguay - Any friend of Hugo Chavez of Venezula is no friend of mine - Ken Livingstone included
Slovakia - See Slovenia

Group G
Brazil - Because they arfe just too god damn happy. Be miserable like the rest of us!!!
Ivory Coast - Should be banned from all football competitions for producing a whinging, diving scum sucking cheat like Drogba
North Korea - The sooner Nuke them, the better
Portugal - The little ponce called Ronaldo, enough said

Group H
Chile - How can a country turn it's back on it greatest ever leader, Augustus Pinochet?
Honduras - Doesn't even register
Spain -Good for a Costa Del Sol package holiday, but that's about it
Switzerland - Will lose every game so as not offend anyone

Reap the whirlwind

Here's a scenario. You are in a pub on a friday night, the local village idiot, a little man who likes nothing more than to start a fight throws a punch at a much larger and tougher man sitting at the bar. The bigger man (who happens to be the village idiots neighbour) takes obvious objection to being hit and in self defence, proceeds to punch the village idiots lights out. The village idiot then proceeds to scream about being attacked unfairly.

Do you

A) agree with the known local, trouble making idiot that he has indeed had a raw deal, then call the Police to have the neighbour arrested
B) Stand back and let the bigger man teach the village idiot a lesson in the hope that it will knock some sense into him

Nod your head in agreement with B and then answer me why all the fuss over Israel teaching the terrorist state of Gaza a lesson.

The facts are that Hamas, a known Terrorist group have openly called for all Jews to be killed....errr anyone remember that German fellow...Adolf somebody?
It was also Hamas who ended the 6 month ceasefire by firing Rockets indiscriminately into Israel in the hope of killing as many civilians as possible. I therefore fail to see what is wrong with Israel protecting its borders and civilians? That is the duty of any Government.
Even Winnie the Pooh knew that if you poked around in a bee hive, you are going to get stung.

Civilian deaths are always a tragedy, but let us not forget that Hamas were democratically elected by the 'civilians' of Gaza. They decided that the moderate ruling party of Fatah should be replaced with known militants. Did the people of Gaza think that by electing Hamas to represent them, they would bring peace? I very much doubt it, that's why all of Gaza shares some collective responsibility for the current situation.

To quote Bomber Harris "They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind"

olympics

At a time when Britain (under Gordon the Morons stewardship) is becoming a paper tiger on the World stage, it is good to see that there are still Britons out there who have the Bulldog spirit. The Olympics, although not over, has already proven that no one thing can stand in the way of British determination.We still win Gold in swimming, sailing and rowing despite Australia having 22000 mile of coastline.We dominate the cycling, despite massive under-funding and lack of facilities.
We even pick up a medal in the gymnastics despite China entering Gary Glitters poster girls.

Aside from Paula Radcliffe, our athletes are putting the Great back in Great Britain. Why does she feel the need to revert to fits of hysteria just because she doesn’t win? Get over it woman and grow up, not everybody wins all of the time but it is how you deal with defeat that makes the person. Do you think Montgomery or Wellington used to cry when they lost a battle? No, they picked themselves up, kept a stiff upper lip and then went on to win the War.She’ll probably enter the 2012 Para Olympics under 'mentally challenged'.

Let’s get behind the team and keep the flag flying. It is good to see the Union flag flying once again over China. I don’t give a damn about Tibet, but give us Hong Kong back.

National Day

When will this country stop fannying around and create a National Day. Great Britain is steeped in history and culture, more so than any other nation so why are we made to feel that being a British Patriot means you are a racist?Every other country has a national day so why can’t we? The French have Bastille day to symbolise the birth of modern France. What a thing to celebrate!! I am surprised that there are not mass suicides as personally, I’d rather be swinging from a lamp post by the neck than be a cheese eating surrender monkey.
In America they have Independence day. I might add that they only have this day because of the cowardly garlic munching Frogs, they had to stick the grape covered feet into our business. Their jealously is so pathetic that it brings a wry smile to my face. Admit it – you wanted to be English but God wouldn't allow it and hence created the English Channel.
If Gordon the Moron had some balls he would announce a Great Britain day and be done with it. Unfortunately we are saddled with a leader with the personality of a chimp and the power of flat car battery. The sad truth is that we will be nowhere near a National day until the silent masses if this country start to sing with one voice.In fact, all countries should be forced to abolish their national days and we should have a World day. Every country is forced to acknowledge what Britain has done for the World and give praise and thanks. At mid day Greenwich Mean time, all 6.6bn people have to get on their knees and honour a minutes silence.

National Day

When will this country stop fannying around and create a National Day. Great Britain is steeped in history and culture, more so than any other nation so why are we made to feel that being a British Patriot means you are a racist?Every other country has a national day so why can’t we? The French have Bastille day to symbolise the birth of modern France. What a thing to celebrate!! I am surprised that there are not mass suicides as personally, I’d rather be swinging from a lamp post by the neck than be a cheese eating surrender monkey.
In America they have Independence day. I might add that they only have this day because of the cowardly garlic munching Frogs, they had to stick the grape covered feet into our business. Their jealously is so pathetic that it brings a wry smile to my face. Admit it – you wanted to be English but God wouldn't allow it and hence created the English Channel.
If Gordon the Moron had some balls he would announce a Great Britain day and be done with it. Unfortunately we are saddled with a leader with the personality of a chimp and the power of flat car battery. The sad truth is that we will be nowhere near a National day until the silent masses if this country start to sing with one voice.In fact, all countries should be forced to abolish their national days and we should have a World day. Every country is forced to acknowledge what Britain has done for the World and give praise and thanks. At mid day Greenwich Mean time, all 6.6bn people have to get on their knees and honour a minutes silence.

Eurovision Song Contest

The Eurovision song contest is the epitomy of how corrupt Europe is and how Britain always gets screwed over by it's inferior and morally devoid European second cousins . Not one vote is cast in earnest, all the Balkan states pass the points around themselves (just like their children), the Baltic and Scandanavian states do the same. Spain, Portugal and Andorra all divi up the top marks as do Greece and Cyprus - and while we are at it, what the f**k is the Ukraine, Russia and those other third world post Communist sh1tholes doing in Europe anyhow?

The prize for the most ungrateful country on earth goes to Malta. Give is back our George Cross you little blemish on the landscape. I hope Global Warming causes the sea levels to rise and wipes you off the map.

Britain should automatically receive top marks from every single country in Western Europe for saving them from the Nazi Jackboot. If it wasn't for us then the 2008 Third Reich Karoke contest would consist of a bunch of skinheads singing in German, wearing Lederhosen and swinging Bratwurst around their heads.

Britain's entry should be "God Save the Queen" each year and automatically default to top spot. It is the least that those pipsqueek surrender monkeys can do for us.God created the English Channel for a reason!

Police Marksman

Some headcase with a shot gun starts blasting away at passers by, the police get called and do their job. They kill the gunman without anyone else being injured.
Instead of praising them for doing a professional job, the officers involved are immediately suspended and investigated. They then face questions from the Media when it is discovered that Mark Saunders was shot 5 times. I couldn't care less if he was shot 5 times, once or was killed by a papercut. When armed Police storm a building they fire as many times as possible until the target is no longer a threat. It's not practical to fire one bullet and wait to see if it hits, similary it is not possible to shoot to injure or disarm. The only people who believe that these are feasible options are safely secure in their North London town houses hiding behind their deadbolts and The Guardian.
We entrust the Police Force (or Service as it now known due to rebranding by the pc brigade) to do a difficult job protecting us and in return we should show our gratitude.As tragic as any death is, I am grateful that the Police did not hesitate and killed him in a hail of bullets. Mark Saunders was dead the minute he picked up a bottle of Jamesons and a Shotgun.